well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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