I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
