yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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