i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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