my mouth tastes like poor choices
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize