Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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