so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
