i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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