# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
