So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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