Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
