sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
