idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
