so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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