Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
