i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
