Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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