Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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