I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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