shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
