Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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