she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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