So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
