like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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