O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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