Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
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