hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
