The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
