Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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