i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
