Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
