she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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