I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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