So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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