Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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