I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
