I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
