D3 body, D1 cock
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Never joke about your clitoris.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
