I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
