Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
