oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
