There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Randomize
