Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
