I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
