i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
