Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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