is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
