This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm really busy with my period
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