Screwed.edu
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
