Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
