Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
