he shaved USA in his pubs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's great music for shaving your balls
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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