oh god the rape fog is back!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
